The time has come for me to put my foot down and start writing again. I had so much free time when I was working as a Flight Attendant. I was able to write more because I was scheduled 12 to 15 days off a month which allowed me to put my fingers to the keyboard and create a multitude of comical antidotes and amusing stories. Those days are gone and I am back to being like the rest of the population - I work 5 days a week and can barely move on my two days off. It is SO unfair.
I need to set myself on a tighter schedule and stick to it. I need to exercise (my cholesterol is 241 which is high), I need to write, study Spanish, and read as much as possible. There is truly not enough time to do everything and I have started worrying about getting older, dying, and not being able to complete all the things I want to do in my life.
Yes - I know that I am only 38 but still...that is kinda old. I am not 30 anymore, or even 35, and I am two years away from 40. When 40 comes I have to have something to show for it? I can't be just another 40 year old that has nothing and lives paycheck to paycheck. I only have two years and I am sure that is not going to change in only 24 short months.
The first thing I am going to do is promise to write something in my journal EVERY DAY. Yes. I have probably said this about 5 times but I am sticking to it. Just pure raw words on paper. No worries about punctuation, sentence structure, or even if I make sense - which most of the time I don't - and get my thoughts out so that I can start processing them and getting my book of essays written. I don't even know if I will ever get that memoir written because every time I sit down to write I don't want to think about my childhood. Am I weak? Am I a pussy? I don't know but I just don't want to face it right now.
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