I've always wanted to do a studio tour and because I was in Burbank I jumped on the opportunity. The closest studio to the Holiday Inn is Warner Bros. Studio so I bought myself a ticket for 10:00a.m and after a quick bagel breakfast I headed to the studios.
When I entered the Warner Bros. Studio store I was like a high school girl on prom night ready to pop my studio tour cherry. I was hoping it wouldn't be too painful because I planned on walking back to the hotel. I walked inside the store and when I saw the True Blood merchandise I realized that I would probably be leaving the studio tour handcuffed and in the back of a squad car instead of walking out a free civilian. I had no idea that the True Blood production was done on the Warner Bros. lot but I had to get onto that set no matter what
Our chariot awaited us and after a quick 10 minute movie about the studios history we were brought out to board our tram. Our tour guide, Bob, broke down the rules and told us when we could and could not take pictures. He asked us if we watched certain television shows and if we had seen specific movies but I noticed he wasn't mentioning True Blood. He asked us if we had any further questions and I said, "Where are they filming True Blood?" Bob, who resembled Mario Cantone, smiled, "They are in production right now in the jungle. It's off limits to us." I smiled and nodded and when I took my seat I made sure I was seated in the last row and on the end for my quick escape into the world of True Blood.
There were 12 of us, 3 to a seat, and I was seated next to some Germans who wouldn't stop talking about Two and a Half Men. I could care less about Charlie Sheehan and I was pretty sure they had haulted production because he was hanging out with his friend Betty Ford. We passed through the employee entrance and Bob informed us that this is where Carrie Bradshaw, Sex in the City, passed through when she was coming to meet the executives at the studio about turning her book into a movie. I was holding on for dear life because after sitting next to the Germans for a few moments I realized they were trying to push me off and onto the pavement. My eyes were darting around like I was hunting for food - I was waiting to see some celebrities but the only people out walking around were executives. Bob stopped and talked about a patch of grass that Ross from Friends played rugby on and then we parked outside of the store from the Gilmore Girls. A women with a script in her hand was standing there and seemed lost. I didn't know if they were shooting a scene or this chick was just waundering around Warner Bros. without a care in the world. A lesbian security guard pulled up and asked if she needed help. The lesbian security guard, no it wasn't Ellen, was on her like a lion on a gazelle, and soon she was inside the security cart and being whisked off to some undisclosed location. Is that all one needed to do to walk around Warner Bros. Studio was to say they were there for an audition and they were lost? I quickly went into my wallet to pull out some receipts that were big enough pass as a script and just as I was about to hop off the tram and start my new career, fucking Bob hit the gas peddle and instead of starting my new acting career I was thrown into these Germans who wanted nothing to do with me.
This is the sidewalk and storefront that was in the series finale of Seinfeld. This is where the cast watched the car get hijacked and did nothing about it and ended up being prosecuted and put in jail. The courthouse that they arrived at to be sentenced is directly across the street from this sidewalk. The insides of these stores and buildings are kept empty until needed for a scene for a specific show or movie.
This is Monica & Ross' parents house from Friends. This was the house from the scene when Ross was going to take Rachel to the prom but her date finally showed up. There was another tour that had pulled over and the people on that tour were walking into the house and on the grass. Bob didn't let us out of the tram for some reason but I am going to think that he had his own personal agenda and we were just along for the ride. Across the street from this house is the house from Growing Pains which I thought was very cool. This street is called Main Street, USA which means it can stand in for any type of residential development when making television shows and movies. I was hanging on for dear life in the back as Bob drove around the curved streets like he was alone in a Smart car.
Bob finally pulled the tram over so we could get out and explore. He didn't let us get far and I felt like he was tugging on a leash wrapped around my neck. He told us to put all our cameras in the lock box on the cart because there was no taking pictures on the set. I imagined him trying to pry my iPhone out of my hand and then seeing what he looked like with two black eyes. He mentioned that he was friends with Lisa Lampenelli and then it wasn't long before my $50 ticket price included a quick summary of his entire acting resume and why he is really a tour guide. This queen was working this tour guide like his own personal agent and he was not shy about telling everyone on the tour what his true intentions were. He brought us onto the set of Two & A Half Men and the moment I stepped into the theatre I knew that I really should have my own sitcom. I belong on stage, in front of an audience, and making people laugh. He explained how a sitcom is filmed in front of a live studio audience and it got my heart racing and my backside moist. He asked this kid, who was probably 12 years old, if he had ever watched an episode of the show and his obese mother quickly said in a southern accent, "Oh he doesn't watch television. No television watching in our house." I rolled my eyes and Bob noticed me and broke character and smiled at me. I finally liked Bob and after he let his guard down he became a she and queened out for the rest of the tour.
We moved from the set of Two & A Half Men to the prop area and into a side door where the entire set of Central Perk from Friends was set up. Friends ended in 2004 but they continue to have this set up as a tribute to their most successful television show at Warner Brothers. The pieces from this set are so recognizable that they have been retired. He let all 12 of us take our photo on the famous sofa that Ross, Monica, Rachel, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe sat for 10 years. I kinda wanted to just hang out and relax but he had us up and off that sofa in seconds. I don't even think my ass touched the dirty cushion before I was up and back against the wall. One person tried to pick up the cups on the coffee table to use as a prop and I thought Bob was going to lose his job. He bursted out, "THOSE ARE IRREPLACEABLE. Please don't touch them." I wanted to tell Bob that I had seen those exact cups at Target but I didn't want her to kick me off the tour.
When we first started the tour Bob warned us to keep an eye out for celebrities. He made it sound like they were going to be dripping for the trees and cleaning up after their dogs on the side of the road. I was expecting to Charlie Sheehan stumbling through the streets being tasered by the lesbian security guard but I was pretty sure she was elbow deep into that young pretty actress she scooped up on the side of the street. We were driving past the large production buildings when a black golf cart sped by and Zach Levi from the television show CHUCK waved at us and yelled, "Welcome to Warner Bros." I thought I would be arrested for breaking onto the True Blood set but after I saw him I quickly came to the conclusion that I would be arrested for attacking him. He isn't my type but he has my friend David's name written all over his forehead. I wanted to dive from my cart to his golf cart, James Bond style, tackle him to the ground, pull out my iPhone and say, "Zach...Oh wow - this golf cart goes faster than I thought..Here is my friend David's number. You are so his type." I was hoping he would be able to write the number down or at least put it in his phone before I was taken away by security.
The prop room at Warner Brothers is like a community theatre set designers wet dream. There are so many pieces here that I couldn't imagine how every item is accounted for. Hundreds of lamps, sofas, and chandeliers and at one point I was standing next to a large desk that when I looked at the picture on it I was surprised to realize it was President John F. Kennedy's desk from when he was in the White House. This black and white picture painted on this garage door was something that I found to be very interesting. Bob informed me that it was rarely seen because the garage door was usually up and after he pressured me to have my picture taken with it I had to finally get forceful and say, "NO I AM GOOD!" Damn Bob!
We were in this large garage filled with two different Batmobiles, Austin Powers Shagmobile, the car from Get Smart, and many more. There was a large green screen in the corner of the room and Bob told us to grab a wand and go up and he would take our picture and we would get the picture at the end of the tour. Everyone went before me but because I was alone I felt kinda weird being in the picture alone. When it was my turn I shrugged it off and told Bob that I didn't want to do it. He became stern and said, "Get in there." I realized he was right and after spending $50 for my ticket a picture was the least they could do - I should have actually had a small role in the last movie. It happened so fast he told me to pose and this is what I came up with.
When the tour was over and we were heading back to our starting point I realized that I was not going to get onto the True Blood set. I hate being disappointed and I was hoping that I would have at least seen one of the actors walking around the studio sipping a latte or drinking a warm bottle of O+. When Bob was finished with us we were led back into the store and given our photos that he took. I bought myself a souvenir t-shirt, got my discounted cup of Starbucks coffee, and started making my way back to the hotel. I cheated by taking a taxi there but the weather was so fantastic I couldn't help but walk back. It was a quick 2.5 mile walk and I was wearing jeans and sweating. I got back to my room to change into shorts and then went out for a late lunch and a wasted a few hours walking around the shops in downtown and doing some window shopping. I got back to my room and took a nap before I had to fly back to JFK on the red eye from Burbank.
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