THE JOE SHOW

Joe 2.0

My life hasn’t been easy. The cards that were dealt to me as a child would have emptied out a millionaire’s bank account in Vegas. The hurdles that I have overcome are astounding and I still look in the mirror on a daily basis and say to myself, “WOW Joseph – you turned out alright for what you have been through.” I have always thought that life was measured in status and class and the more someone has guarantees them a spot at the top of the food chain, I don't believe that anymore.

TELL IT TO MY HEART

I’m an 80’s pop music kid from way back.  I really couldn’t help myself; I found no interest in heavy metal music. The thought of banging my head around only made me want to cry and reach for the nearest Aspirin bottle. On any given day, in my neighborhood, the kids would have multiple boom boxes broadcasting the loudest heavy metal music. It was like living in the game Guitar Hero. I hated it. Every kid impersonating a DJ competed with each other to make their favorite bands the loudest. It was obnoxious and I didn’t care if it was Ratt screeching, Twisted Sister shrieking, or AC/DC shouting their incomprehensible vocals, I’d normally turn up my nose in disgust and get home as fast as my legs would carry me.

Puerto Rican Bathhouse

I started my new lifting routine today. I hate lifting weights.

Body Fighting Back

My worst fears may be coming true - I may be allergic to exercising. 

10lbs

Having a goal is very important.

JOEROEBICS

Exercise is hard. It makes sense that so many Americans are fat and lazy. It's much easier to sit on the sofa overindulging in candies and cakes than getting up and running for 30 minutes.

JUGGLING ACT

If January 2011 is any indication of how the rest of the year is going to go then I better hold on cause I'll be riding 2011 like a big fat dildo.

Mr. Cranky Pants

I am getting sick and I am very cranky.

LITTLE LIES

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a world where you could get away with saying anything? I do. I always think of it. It’s a fantasy of mine that I could walk around telling everyone how I truly feel about them.

2010 Year in Pictures

This has been a very difficult year for me. I've had many ups and downs and just when I thought I couldn't handle what was being thrown at me I was able to climb to the top of the situation and manage myself through it. We are such strong beings and we have the ability to survive anything that is put in front of us. It is our individual strengths that get us through each day.

FORGOTTEN

I can't help but freak out the last week of the year. This happens EVERY year and the fear that my life is flying bye increases each new year. I don't want to get old and die but I know that it is coming - whether I like it or not. 

SO FRUSTRATED

Ok - I am beyond irritated with myself. Am I stupid? I feel like I can't even write a sentence without wanting to take my laptop and throw it across the room.

I am about to give up on ever writing this memoir. Is it that important? Of course it is important - I have wanted to write this since I was 20 years old. Can I write is a completely different story? Who am I kidding? I am an uneducated person who has no talent what-so-ever. I think it is time to put away my silly ideas that I can actually write something as important as this.

Totally disgusted with myself and really don't know what else to say.

Crucial Conversations

We all hate having those difficult conversations. Many people will at all cost avoid having an uncomfortable and uneasy conversation. I have always thought of myself as someone who liked confrontation and calling people out but after getting half way through this book I realize that my approach is all wrong. 

With my new position at work, part of my job is to hold people accountable for their actions and have crucial conversations on a daily basis. I have these conversations with the people on my team and also with my co-workers that I sit five feet away from.

This book is assisting me in these awkward conversations in the work place AND at home.

                                     

 

Transformation beings...NOW!

I am doing it again. Procrastinating my life away. Why do I do this? What is the point. I have become so involved in my job that I can barely focus on anything else. On my days off I don't even want to leave the house. Why? I really can't explain it. 

Matt will ask me what is wrong with me and I don't have an answer for him. He will say, "Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?" but the answer is NO. I am not mad at him or anyone - I am just in a funk. Something that is tearing at me from all sides and I don't know how to snap out of it.

I have started walking. That is the first step in my new transformation that I am attempting to begin. I have made a promise to myself that I will walk 30 minutes a day. This will help my heart, my head, and my waist line. Thinking clearly is really something that I have always had a problem with and I need to figure out a way to stay on track. 

My job couldn't be better but the moment I get home it's like I am stricken to sit on the sofa and not move. I need to set goals, schedule project completion dates, and stop being such a whiner.

WINTER CAN BE DANGEROUS

LAST CHRISTMAS

Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays; coming in right behind my birthday. I would never give up celebrating my birthday but after a full year of debating back and forth we, Matt and I, have decided that we will not be celebrating Christmas this year.

Friday the 13th

There is seriously not enough time in the day for me to do everything that I need to do.

Am I the only person on this planet that feels this way? I mean, come on people, I have to study Spanish, write in my blog, attempt to put a dent in the long list of books that I need to read, work, eat, sleep, shit and anything else that creeps up and causes me stress.

Did I even mention shaving my head - that alone takes 20 minutes.

BITCH PLEASE!

This entry is nothing less than a complete angry rant. I have the luxury of being able to write whatever i want about whatever I want. This was written for nothing other than an expression of how I feel about a situation that happened to me the other day regarding a fellow co-worker. Take from it what you will - but it really was written just to make me feel better. Writing is SO cathartic!

THE MISSING GENE

You would think that I was talking nonsense or rubbish when I say that I hate shopping but it is the complete truth. To be more specific I hate clothes shopping. I really hate it. Just so you know how much I hate it; I think that sticking hot pokers in my eyes would be less painful.

LACKADAISICAL

What is wrong with me?

GONE FISHING

I don't want to get old.

CLEANING OUT MY CLOSETS.

I have always been a pack rat. When I was a kid I saved everything and that behavior leaked into my twenties and thirties; I believe that I am finally getting over holding on to unnecessary things.

RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME

I usually hate doing those online questionnaires that pop up all the time on my emails and on myspace but I got tagged on Facebook with this one and I found it very interesting. I had to type out 25 random things about myself and post them on Facebook for the world to read; being the exhibitionist that I am - I couldn't resist.

I was so excited about this that I thought I would put this as an entry in my blog. I am going to add some more to it as there are way more than just 25 random things about me.

AGE IS ONLY A NUMBER.

I can’t believe that it is 2009. The realization that it is 2009 will hit me in a few weeks but that is nothing new; I do this every time there is a new year. 

GLAMOROUS LIFE

I felt guilty on New Years Eve. Matt & I went to a party and everyone was griping about what a horrible year 2008 was. Some lost jobs, some had to find new jobs and some still had no job - I have had one of the best years of this decade.

A HORRIFIC INVASION

I had dreamed of being a nurse for many years before I actually went to nursing school; when I finished nursing school it was the greatest accomplishment that I had ever achieved.

It still is.

Everytime I would walk into the hospital, there would be an exciting adventure waiting for me. I loved going to work and enjoyed taking care of people; I wasn't always this bitchy.

THE PERFECT BENCH

When I go to bed at night all I can think of is how ANGRY I am and how much I want to change the world. I want to make people realize how idiotic and childish religion is: I know I can’t do that. I needed to clear my head today so I left the house and headed to the park.

I AM A RAGING LUNATIC TONIGHT.

I am a raging maniac tonight.

ADIOS NEUVA YORK

I know I say I can't wait to leave NYC but now that it is time I am kind of sad.

Continue reading "ADIOS NEUVA YORK" »

Have you ever had a crush? I don't mean the orange soda, I mean a crush, on someone you couldn't have. I think we have all had a crush at some point in our lives. Hell, I have a crush on someone I can't have all the time. Not because I am married but because I usually get crushes over guys I can't have. Straight guys. 

When I woke up the first thing that Matt told me was he had a dream that I was President. That is funny, but it had me thinking. I laid in bed and my mind started to wander. What would I do if I was President of the U.S.A? Well I will never be President of this country but I can act as President of my house, so it was time to start making a change.

I am in NY. I got back here after a great Labor Day weekend with my husband. We were suppose to go to New Orleans last weekend for Southern Decadence but because of that damn hurricane our plans were cancelled. We didn't want to just stay home but we didn't know where to go. Las Vegas? Denver? Boston? Santo Domingo? San Juan? Guess again..

Do you use the “F” word? Do you say it all the time? Do you only say it when you are hurt, mad, frustrated or want to express yourself? Do you say it under your breath when nobody is listening? Do you say it in the heat of passion or when you look at $4 gas prices? I don’t care when or where you say it..you say it. You say FUCK...

Just when I thought there was no humanity left in the human race, I was proven wrong. 

I have added the links to my photo albums on this post so that they are easy to access. Check them out. You may see some that surprise you...

Don't worry there are no X rated pictures in any of these photo albums. You wouldn't want to see them anyway. :-)

How will you be remembered when you die?

I have opened a can of worms that and I don't know how to handle it. Matt and I were in the livingroom the other night and I started talking about my father. I was wondering if he was alive. I looked him up online, he lives in Canada, but I couldn't find him listed. I saw someone who I thought was his brother and I called that number. It wasn't his brother but it was a cousin. I asked them if he was alive and they said YES. Stupid me, I didn't block my phone and the next day he called and left a message. I didn't call him back. Then the next day he left another message. This time drunk and angry sounding. I still haven't called him back. I have debating whether I should write about this but I think I should. Matt doesn't think I should but I think it is important to talk about this and let people know these things can happen to people that you know.
I was born a bastard child. My biological father never wanted anything to do with me. From the day I was born my mother's main job was to make sure I had a father. She thought that a son should have a father. She didn't want me to be one of "those kids" that was raised without a father. Boy did she pick the wrong person.

Who is your oldest friend? Do you have a friend that you have known for years? Are you as tight today as you were the day you met?

Ladies & Gentlemen, Step right up. The greatest show on earth is about to begin....
That show is THE JOE SHOW.
I want to welcome whoever is reading this blog to my new site. I was using a different blogging server before, when my blog was called CONFESSIONS OF AN AIR HOST, but I had been thinking about changing it for some time now so I am very excited.
Why The Joe Show? Well. I dated this guy named Ken back in 1999. Whenever we would get into an argument or a disagreement and I thought I was right he would always say, "This isn't The Joe Show." Well now it is.

I overslept today. I was suppose to get up at 4am and I didn’t wake up until 8:30a. I woke up in such a panic..and a headache. I called Matt and he was thinking I was home in MCO and I had to tell him I overslept and I was still in NY. I

I couldn’t sleep late. I was still on eastern time. It was 7:30am and I was wide awake. We had all made a date to meet for breakfast at 8:30a upstairs in the concierge level.
I wanted to find out what was going to happen because my layover fell from 24.05 hrs to 23.00.
I called crew services and they transferred me to crew recovery and YUP. I timed out. I was illegal to work the flight back. I had to DH back the next day at 12:45p. Not only did I get to come to SJC but now instead of a 24hr layover I got a 37 hr layover. How fucking cool....

I think I may have just gotten off the best trip I will ever go on as a flight attendant. I know I have only been doing this for 6 months but something deep down inside tells me this.
I picked up an amazing trip with a layover in MCO and a 24hr layover in San Jose, CA (SJC).

So I am writing my Sunday blog entry on Monday morning because I was not sober enough last night to write it. We went out for drinks last night and I had a few too many. I am feeling OK right now but I am just laying in bed. I just took some Advil, I should have taken them last night before bed, and had something to drink. I need to eat.
I was on from 0700-1900 yesterday but I was pretty far down on the list of reserves so I was about 75% sure they weren’t going to call me in to work. They didn’t.

Today was the day. I got in very late last night from the trip I was on and I was not in the mood to write about it. I was tired. BUT today is a very exciting day for me. Today is my Bear City audition in NYC. YEAH..

We went to lunch with some of Matt’s co-workers today. The cool crowd. It was nice. It is funny because I ask Matt if he is sad that he is leaving his job and he asks me, “Why would I be sad..it is a job..there is no emotion there.” HAHA he is so funny.
So we brought all the straight guys to Hamburger Mary’s and it went well. I had fun. The food took to damn long and I thought I was going to have to get loud..but I didn’t.

Yesterday was a good day. We got back from Tampa at about 12pm and I got released for the day so I was able to get on the 1pm flight back to MCO. It was a very quick visit but even a quick visit can be nice. We hung out at home for awhile and then went to clean out Matt’s office at work. He starts a new job on July 1.. So why is he cleaning his office out NOW??..Good question..

This heat sucks. It is so fucking hot here in NYC it isn’t even funny. I am not talking..”oh I am sweating hot,” i mean. HOLY SHIT..my balls are swimming in my shorts and my neck is sweating and I can’t breath kind of hot. What the hell is this shit. I live in Orlando and it ain’t this hot. It was like 97 degrees today. 97..I will say that again for you who didn’t get it.......97 degrees......

David & I had a very interesting conversation last night. We were in bed, our own beds, and we started talking about religion. Religion is a topic that I usually stay away from but lately I have become more enraged and frustrated by religion and what it does to society. I know this entry may upset people but I can’t control how people feel. You feel how you feel. That is that.

It is raining in NY today. The temperature is like 52 degrees. Not very spring like is it?
I found out today that my friend Bill Hart died last night of a massive heart attack. This was a great and fun guy. I met him when I did the show YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU at the Center of Arts in Osceola County. I am very sad to hear that. He was such a fun guy. The picture right above here is of a few from the cast. He is the bald guy standing next to me in the white shirt with the suspenders and black tie and the mustache. In the play we always dressed alike and it was a lot of fun.

Flying out of JFK was a bitch last night. The weather was terrible and when that happens, at JFK, the planes back up and it takes forever to take off. We closed the door of the plane at 8:10pm and sat on the runway till 9:15pm. That was when we finally took off. We flew to Orlando and we were already almost 2 hours late. I didn’t care though because once the door is closed, I am getting paid.

CRUSH ON YOU

Have you ever had a crush? I don't mean the orange soda, I mean a crush, on someone you couldn't have. I think we have all had a crush at some point in our lives. Hell, I have a crush on someone I can't have all the time. Not because I am married but because I usually get crushes over guys I can't have. Straight guys. 

GOUT MONSTER

When I woke up the first thing that Matt told me was he had a dream that I was President. That is funny, but it had me thinking. I laid in bed and my mind started to wander. What would I do if I was President of the U.S.A? Well I will never be President of this country but I can act as President of my house, so it was time to start making a change.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE JOHNS

I am in NY. I got back here after a great Labor Day weekend with my husband. We were suppose to go to New Orleans last weekend for Southern Decadence but because of that damn hurricane our plans were cancelled. We didn't want to just stay home but we didn't know where to go. Las Vegas? Denver? Boston? Santo Domingo? San Juan? Guess again..

WORDS

Do you use the “F” word? Do you say it all the time? Do you only say it when you are hurt, mad, frustrated or want to express yourself? Do you say it under your breath when nobody is listening? Do you say it in the heat of passion or when you look at $4 gas prices? I don’t care when or where you say it..you say it. You say FUCK...

WHY'S IT SO HARD

Just when I thought there was no humanity left in the human race, I was proven wrong. 

HISTORY

I have added the links to my photo albums on this post so that they are easy to access. Check them out. You may see some that surprise you...

Don't worry there are no X rated pictures in any of these photo albums. You wouldn't want to see them anyway. :-)

I'LL REMEMBER

How will you be remembered when you die?

DOING "IT"

I have opened a can of worms that and I don't know how to handle it. Matt and I were in the livingroom the other night and I started talking about my father. I was wondering if he was alive. I looked him up online, he lives in Canada, but I couldn't find him listed. I saw someone who I thought was his brother and I called that number. It wasn't his brother but it was a cousin. I asked them if he was alive and they said YES. Stupid me, I didn't block my phone and the next day he called and left a message. I didn't call him back. Then the next day he left another message. This time drunk and angry sounding. I still haven't called him back. I have debating whether I should write about this but I think I should. Matt doesn't think I should but I think it is important to talk about this and let people know these things can happen to people that you know.
I was born a bastard child. My biological father never wanted anything to do with me. From the day I was born my mother's main job was to make sure I had a father. She thought that a son should have a father. She didn't want me to be one of "those kids" that was raised without a father. Boy did she pick the wrong person.

WHAT MAKES A GREAT FRIEND?

Who is your oldest friend? Do you have a friend that you have known for years? Are you as tight today as you were the day you met?

CONFESSIONS BECOMES "THE JOE SHOW"

Ladies & Gentlemen, Step right up. The greatest show on earth is about to begin....
That show is THE JOE SHOW.
I want to welcome whoever is reading this blog to my new site. I was using a different blogging server before, when my blog was called CONFESSIONS OF AN AIR HOST, but I had been thinking about changing it for some time now so I am very excited.
Why The Joe Show? Well. I dated this guy named Ken back in 1999. Whenever we would get into an argument or a disagreement and I thought I was right he would always say, "This isn't The Joe Show." Well now it is.

WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE

I overslept today. I was suppose to get up at 4am and I didn’t wake up until 8:30a. I woke up in such a panic..and a headache. I called Matt and he was thinking I was home in MCO and I had to tell him I overslept and I was still in NY. I

THE SAN JOSE EXPERIENCE

I couldn’t sleep late. I was still on eastern time. It was 7:30am and I was wide awake. We had all made a date to meet for breakfast at 8:30a upstairs in the concierge level.
I wanted to find out what was going to happen because my layover fell from 24.05 hrs to 23.00.
I called crew services and they transferred me to crew recovery and YUP. I timed out. I was illegal to work the flight back. I had to DH back the next day at 12:45p. Not only did I get to come to SJC but now instead of a 24hr layover I got a 37 hr layover. How fucking cool....

"REGULAR TELLS ME NOTHING"

I think I may have just gotten off the best trip I will ever go on as a flight attendant. I know I have only been doing this for 6 months but something deep down inside tells me this.
I picked up an amazing trip with a layover in MCO and a 24hr layover in San Jose, CA (SJC).

YUMMYCOCK

So I am writing my Sunday blog entry on Monday morning because I was not sober enough last night to write it. We went out for drinks last night and I had a few too many. I am feeling OK right now but I am just laying in bed. I just took some Advil, I should have taken them last night before bed, and had something to drink. I need to eat.
I was on from 0700-1900 yesterday but I was pretty far down on the list of reserves so I was about 75% sure they weren’t going to call me in to work. They didn’t.

FRED

Today was the day. I got in very late last night from the trip I was on and I was not in the mood to write about it. I was tired. BUT today is a very exciting day for me. Today is my Bear City audition in NYC. YEAH..

FRIDAY NIGHT

We went to lunch with some of Matt’s co-workers today. The cool crowd. It was nice. It is funny because I ask Matt if he is sad that he is leaving his job and he asks me, “Why would I be sad..it is a job..there is no emotion there.” HAHA he is so funny.
So we brought all the straight guys to Hamburger Mary’s and it went well. I had fun. The food took to damn long and I thought I was going to have to get loud..but I didn’t.

NO NOTICE CAMPAIGN

Yesterday was a good day. We got back from Tampa at about 12pm and I got released for the day so I was able to get on the 1pm flight back to MCO. It was a very quick visit but even a quick visit can be nice. We hung out at home for awhile and then went to clean out Matt’s office at work. He starts a new job on July 1.. So why is he cleaning his office out NOW??..Good question..

HOT HOT HOT

This heat sucks. It is so fucking hot here in NYC it isn’t even funny. I am not talking..”oh I am sweating hot,” i mean. HOLY SHIT..my balls are swimming in my shorts and my neck is sweating and I can’t breath kind of hot. What the hell is this shit. I live in Orlando and it ain’t this hot. It was like 97 degrees today. 97..I will say that again for you who didn’t get it.......97 degrees......

RELIGION IS TOXIC...RUN FROM IT

David & I had a very interesting conversation last night. We were in bed, our own beds, and we started talking about religion. Religion is a topic that I usually stay away from but lately I have become more enraged and frustrated by religion and what it does to society. I know this entry may upset people but I can’t control how people feel. You feel how you feel. That is that.

R.I.P. - BILL HART

It is raining in NY today. The temperature is like 52 degrees. Not very spring like is it?
I found out today that my friend Bill Hart died last night of a massive heart attack. This was a great and fun guy. I met him when I did the show YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU at the Center of Arts in Osceola County. I am very sad to hear that. He was such a fun guy. The picture right above here is of a few from the cast. He is the bald guy standing next to me in the white shirt with the suspenders and black tie and the mustache. In the play we always dressed alike and it was a lot of fun.

LONG NIGHT

Flying out of JFK was a bitch last night. The weather was terrible and when that happens, at JFK, the planes back up and it takes forever to take off. We closed the door of the plane at 8:10pm and sat on the runway till 9:15pm. That was when we finally took off. We flew to Orlando and we were already almost 2 hours late. I didn’t care though because once the door is closed, I am getting paid.